Archive for October, 2008

How to Make Pickles

A great cry arose among the American People.  “Sire, we are losing all hope! We must have more Pickles!

President Bush flew first to the podium and sounded a loud cry of alarm.  “We must have more pickles NOW! or OIL will be lost!  Immediately fighter jets flew overhead.  The sound was deafening.

For among the many faucets of American politics, politicians are famous for (and for which few Americans do not know of) is its ability to create hot water and get us “in a pickle”

A group met and decided to throw away the original recipe and agree on creating a new a better batch. (Stimulus)

However, somehow they forgot the cucumbers and vinegar, while one blamed the other a fight broke out in the oval office.  Birkenstocks were raised in the air and dresses flew above heads as the food fight continued on into the night.  A large bus pulls up, unloading the RNC, not wanted to miss a single media “blip” and several other (undecided) democrats dived in, joining the melee.

Suddenly,  off in the distance there was a great roar and John McCain strode up on a dappled grey horse and cried loudly, (sabre lifted above his head) “I’ll SAVE YOU NELL!,, He also, jumping into the boiling vat.

Nancy Pelosi, once again having arrived empty handed, after shopping all day with the entire US budget, was tripped, slapped and summarily sent to CHECK-INTO-CASH.

Suddenly, leaping from the corner rose Dick Cheney.  DUCK!, someone in the crowd yelled, luckily, from out of nowhere, David Blaine was able to catch the bullet between his teeth.

Barack Obama sat alone on the only un-overturned chair and chewed another piece of nicorette gum.

Outside gathered on the White House lawn, a group of “dissidents” burned Tony Romo in effigy.

Fannie and Freddie both lay supine on the floor, when the still small voice of Sara Palin cried, “This is a Bridge to Nowhere!”

Suddenly, A CNN newscamera, with white flag rising above it appeared in the doorway.  Poking the lens in just so.  At once, there came a hush over the crowd, skirts straightened and cups of hot Starbucks upright appeared on tables, notebooks opened, pens down.   An agreement had been reached!

Democrats and Republicans mouth kissed and glowed rosily outside for the cameras as Laura Bush spoke for the first time.

You know Jenna,  remember this, wiping a wad of spit from the frame of George Washington.  “Never let men into your kitchen to make pickles, dear, they make a mess and we have to clean it up”

Well, some say that no one know what goes on behind closed doors, but you can take it from me, I was there -poppishirley, “the fly on the wall”


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